Of Waves and the Wind
by Kaitu
Summary: A young woman, crushed by the expectations of the society is transferred to a small town to get her life into order. With the help from the quirky animal villagers, she slowly regains control... Rated T for mild language and possible mature themes.
1. Chapter 1 A New Town

I can feel the waves rolling on the shore.  
Gently lulling me, as I stare to the great sea.  
Ever blue,  
open, a bit frightening - the mist in the air is making it difficult to see. I do belong here,  
to the land where the waves roll from day to day.  
The mist will not disappear,  
not until I find my destination.  
Maybe it's inside my head. I don't know what I want from myself.  
If I left now, I wouldn't get anywhere, the mist would get me cornered and I would just end up here again.

I slowly tap the sand out from my worn-out sneakers,  
and tie them up again.  
I rise to my feet,  
and quietly turn my back to the sea.

One month ago,  
I could just have walked in the waves,  
and let them finally take what they wanted.  
I was an adult with a child's mind, not yet ready for the hectic pace and the rules of that world of grown-ups.  
Completely getting lost, lacking common sense, doing regrettable things.  
I don't really remember anything about those times anymore,  
the pressure was building up,  
going over limits,  
until everything shattered.  
The pieces of what used to be me are very small,  
now scattered around in my consciousness.  
I am afraid of them. I don't want to find them.

Days spent in darkness,  
in my safe little hideout where the world couldn't touch me ended.  
Instead, another story began with a whistle of an old-fashioned steam train.

I bounced up and down on the wooden bench of that steam train.  
The numb feeling was still filling my body,  
but not as overwhelming as before.  
Somehow calming, my fear started to fade, just a little bit.  
A familiar feeling of childlike excitement went through me.  
I started to examine my surroundings, touching things and listening to the voices of the others in the carriage.  
The smooth and sturdy surface of the wood under my hands, the smell of bubblegum and bad breath. Somehow, the world seemed much broader than before. So many things I wouldn't usually even notice.

"Hello, dear, is this seat free?"

I was too concentrated on my new observations, that I didn't notice him at first.

So, there he stood, proud and with an unnaturally wide grin. A cat, a lot shorter than me,  
with very narrow eyes - but that grin! I hadn't ever seen such an expression before.

"Um... I guess it is", I answered before I even thought about it.

"Excellent", he said and slid himself onto the opposite bench with one quick motion.  
I felt a little nervous, but attempted to keep my face straight.

"You're looking great today, Miss", he said all of a sudden. It was a bit unexpected, but somehow I lost my uneasy feeling and decided to put all in this little game of ours. "Thank you", I said, and attempted to smile at him. Something was changing, I could already feel it.

"May I ask, where are you headed? You must be one of those hipster kids who travel a lot, want to see the world", he asked friendly.

"Not really, it's been such a long time since I last traveled like this", I sighed. This was easier than ever before, relaxed.

"And what about the location? Of course, you don't have to tell me, sorry if I invade your privacy too much.

"Cherhill", I answered quietly.

"Wow, really? One of my favourite places, really good people there." He stopped for a moment, looking out from the window. Time was passing a lot quicker when you had someone to talk with.

"But, still, that place's sorta quiet. Not very much to do", he continued with a puzzled expression.

"I'm pretty sure it'll do just fine", I said.

"Well then, if you're sure about that". Another break in his almost constant talking.

"Just one last question: what are you planning to do in Cherhill?"

"Actually, I'm moving."

A shocked expression on his face, then diverting back into the usual grin, this time accompanied by a hearty laugh.  
"Moving to Cherhill? Well, that's certainly an interesting choice", he laughed.

"... They sent me there, to rebuild myself", I whispered. Those words sounded cold, frightening. I was a broken toy that were to repair itself.  
The ward. They tried to help. But somehow, I also felt that I was just an object, an accomplishment to be made. They wanted to help me to feed their egos. No, I know it isn't that way, but something in their attitudes irked me. Nah, just forget about it. This shit is getting too complex. I should just leave that behind and start over. This is my chance. I will not give up, not yet!

"Station of Cherhill! Now arriving to Cherhill!"

The train slowed down, until completely stopping to the station.

"We're already there?!" Rover exclaimed, swinging his back paws on the air. I stood up from the bench, and took my bags from the shelf hanging above me.

"It was a pleasure meeting you", I said with a shy smile. What a silly little cat he was, being this open for an unfamiliar person. He must get friends easily. It wasn't just a compliment, it really felt nice to talk freely with someone.

I walked to the doors of the carriage. For my suprise, Rover also stood up.

"Hey, one last question, Miss! May I have your name?"

"It's Nana. Sakamoto Nana."

It had already begun. I could feel it rushing through me. The waves were changing.


	2. Chapter 2 A Carnival of Insignificance

A magnificent view greeted me as I stepped out from the train. Tens of thousands of cherry blossoms flew around with the wind, almost like it was snowing. I had never seen so many of them at once. The playful spring wind was dancing with them, dressed beautifully in its new pink coat. I could see some houses between the trees. They, too, were hidden under the light blanket of the flowers. And then there was the beach and the sea. Intriguing, blue, inviting. It was also taking part in this party, cheerfully beating its turquoise waves on the shore. The whole village was This wouldn't last long, the flowers would rot away in a couple of days. A very short, but very beautiful life. That's what I once wanted, too.

The light pink and white mat of the blossoms made a gentle rustling sound as I stepped on it. One by one, I took steps on the path.

Then I saw someone, running in the middle of the flowers. A tanuki, wearing some kind of apron, coming to me.

"Hey-ho, and welcome to Cherhill! By any chance, are you Miss Sakamoto?" said the tanuki, looking me into the eyes, letting out a deep, strange laugh.

"That is my name", I said.

"Yes, yes, I can tell it from your eyes. Certainly a Sakamoto. You had a home booked, right?"  
"Correct."  
"You certainly arrived in the most beautiful day of the spring", he continued, rising his eyes up to the trees, and then back to me.  
"Yes, I have never seen a spectacle of the nature like this before", I smiled, still amazed by the almost magical atmosphere brought by the blossoms. We both stopped for a moment, just admiring the view to the beach. Then, he continued:

"Pleased to meet you, Miss Sakamoto. I am Tom Nook, and I run the store in this village."

"Thank you, and by the way, just call me Nana", I said. I wasn't yet used to being referred with my last name.

"Ah, well, then, Miss Nana, would you like me to show you your house?"

"It'd be very nice of you, Mr. Nook."

We walked down the path, all the way down to the beach. A small wooden house, only a few meters from the sea.

There it was, once again. I could still recognize that deep blue, sinister body of water. It was the same in every town, every city I visited, there it was waiting for me. It would keep following me, sending those thoughts once again. Seeing that very shade of blue sent shivers down my spine. The fragile flowers were floating to the open sea with the current. They were going, although they knew that they wouldn't be coming back. They had given up already, they were not afraid.  
They knew that they would die anyway on the ground. Rot and be stepped over, or just descend slowly into the depths of the sea? They had two choices, but both of them would eventually lead them to the same fate.

Suddenly, I lowered my hands into the water, and picked one blossom up. It was beautiful, still having a gentle light pink colour blushing on its petals. "I will let you stay beautiful", I said, and smiled at the small flower, carefully wrapped between my hands.  
"Um... Nana?" asked Nook, holding the door of the house wide open. I noticed what I was doing, and quickly got up from the shore.  
"Uh, I'm sorry, I got carried away", I said and took my bags from the ground.

Tom waved me goodbye, and asked me to visit his store later. I waved back, and started unpacking my trunk. My diary was lying on the top of the pile. A small, tattered book with a faded plum print on the cover.  
My psychiatrist had asked me to write something every day on it, but today I didn't feel like writing at all.  
Instead, I just got that cherry blossom, and gently pressed it between the pages. I wanted to remember this day, to let the flower remain in full bloom forever.  
"Stay beautiful", I said and gently closed the book, burying it under my bedsheets.  
I gave the flower another chance. Now I would give one for myself.


	3. Chapter 3: The Festival

_A long break, a longer chapter for you all. _

What a small place it was, this new house of mine.  
Thankfully, the room had already been furnished for me, but I still had to unpack my smaller belongings.  
A firm, light wooden floor, made of pine tree. Its fresh, natural scent was filling the air. A set of black-and-white photographs taken by my father were hung over the door.  
The red brick walls adorned by paintings, made by my mother a long time ago.  
Mom once told me that she used to be a street artist,  
painting portraits of tourists for a small price.  
A risky way of life, that is.  
Always moving from city to city, according to the season. She knew what "living day by day" truly meant. She was a survivor, the world couldn't just drop her off the wagon.  
In the end, her painting equipment cost her so much that she couldn't afford it anymore. Then, dad came into picture.  
He was an outsider in that town, too. Certainly not Japanese. Wearing a ridiculous cap and a football shirt, things you would never wear in ordinary life,  
this man sure was a tourist.  
They were living apart from the townsfolk, glazed eyes looking through the people, taking as little contact to the real city. They lived in a fantasy brought by the brochures and the travel guides. A barrier existed between them and the true city, like they were in a glass cage that was carried around. They didn't want to hear about the truth, they were just passer-bys in this time and moment. And the truth didn't belong to them, it was none of their business. They were here to enjoy life for a short time, and they would soon return back to their own reality - their own everyday world that had its own tourists.

Something was different with this man.  
He sat down to the little red bench,  
and offered my mother a little money.  
"Please make a painting of me", he said quietly with his strangely pronounced Japanese. Their eyes met for the first time.  
And mom painted, as well as she could. But something in those eyes couldn't be reproduced on canvas. They had seen so much truth, "One more thing", the man then said.  
"May I take a picture of you to have with me?  
"Yes", my mother answered, suprised by the sudden request of this strange tourist.  
"Thank you"  
A flashing light,  
and the picture was saved on the film.  
"Something tells me that this isn't the last time we meet", the man said, with a glimmer of hope in his dark grey eyes.  
Mom smiled.

When telling me this story,  
she stopped often, giggled a bit, then cried.  
The mixed, unsolved emotions of the townsfolk were still bothering her.  
She met a lot of people, made friends and enemies along her way,  
many of which now lay forgotten in the depths of the earth, up in the limitless sky.  
This was the first time I saw such an expression overshadowing her face. Mom couldn't bear the memories taking over her.  
I felt very sad afterwards, and tried to cheer her up, in my own childish way,  
but it didn't help.  
She needed time to think.

Well, this was a chance for me.  
Mom and Dad, those young wandering artists with no specific destination somehow ended up together,  
and soon that little being - me - began her journey.  
All because of that unexpected encounter, just two people meeting in a moment.  
And that's what I am, Nana, the seventh. The seventh what? They wouldn't tell me when I asked them.  
"It is up to you", that's all I could get.  
Do I even care about those details?

------------------  
"Knock, knock!"

Wait, what had just happened?

Everything was messed up. My head was throbbing madly, and I could barely see things clearly. I had fell asleep again, in the middle of this chaos. Apparently not much time had passed, but it sure felt like a long period of time.

I rose from my sofa, and went to the door. On the doorstep stood a small, Russian Blue cat with wide, cheerful eyes. She was wearing a mint green summer kimono with a purple obi.  
"Hellooo! You're finally here, nyo! The name's Rosie. I couldn't wait to meet you, so I decided to come for a visit. Do you mind?" she said, and literally jumped into my room. I knew that she wouldn't accept a "no" as an answer, so I just let her come in. I was suprised by her extremely straightforward behaviour. I mean, we had known each other for barely 3 minutes, and she was already barging in like this. The cat went through my stuff, pulled everything down from the shelves like a little kid. I couldn't help but stare at her.  
She stood up, and came to me.  
"By the way, I'm here to invite you to the annual Cherry Blossom Festival! We're celebrating the spring at the city square, so change those uncomfortable clothes and come join us in the festivities"  
"I might come if I have time", I sighed as I saw all of my stuff on the floor. What a weird girl, did she do this to everyone she met? Would I have to get used to this?  
"I'll come to raid your closet later, so be ready!" she joked with a vicious look on her face. "You're welcome to visit me whenever you like, miss Rosie, but please let me get this place ready first", I said, gently motioning her to the door.  
"Certainly! And don't forget to come to the square when you're ready."  
And she didn't even ask my name, was it even important to her? This was getting interesting.

"Now where is it", I spoke to myself as I went through my clothes. Old freebie t-shirts advertising some ready-made meal products, thrift store jeans, pleated skirts, even a gingham raincoat, there was just about everything except what I was searching for. After a couple of minutes of intense digging, I finally found it from the bottom of the pile.

An old summer kimono, lavender in color, decorated by light plum flowers. It had been mine since junior high, so I wasn't even sure if it would fit. At least I had took it with me, I had not expected a welcome like this. Surely, it felt appropriate to celebrate the fantastic flowers, but everything happened so quickly that I barely had any time to think.

And my expectations were right. The kimono was very short, and the color made me look even paler than before. I tied the bright orange obi on my back. It had been such a long time since I last did this, and it looked awkward, to be honest. My parents didn't care about traditions, they just kept travelling on and on around the world until I came to the world. I didn't know about any of the cultural traditions until my grandmother taught me the basics. That was when we moved back to Japan in 1996, as mom got back to her roots. My father left behind his homeland of England, travelled with us into a completely unfamiliar land.  
That society never really accepted me. I was a strange mixture of two cultures, spoke two languages, looked very strange to the Japanese eye. I was tall, 10 centimeters taller than the most people there. My head always bobbed above the masses. Although my facial features were quite Asian, my body made me literally stand out. I kept getting strange looks from people. The whole situation was rather embarrassing. I wasn't Japanese to them, nor I was English. I've never found my national identity, and it's unlikely that I'll ever find it.

So, I was just informed about this traditional festival being held. It was rather puzzling: would they look at me weirdly, just like everyone else? I was absolutely clueless, once again. I felt the need to get in touch with people, to talk and to touch, but I didn't know how to behave with them.

"The first step is the most difficult one", in many aspects of life. And so was mine. I chose to take my first step, to that world that once rejected me. I knew I could do it.


End file.
